Stay with Me
The narrator of this novel is a Norwegian writer living in Milan. A year has passed since the premature death of her Italian husband. She falls in love. M is seventeen years younger than her, but the connection between them is intense and of a kind she has never felt before. Then, as his vulnerability starts showing, so does his troubling rage. She knows this rage. It was always present in her childhood, and it created an all-encompassing fear in her.
In Stay with Me, Hanne Ørstavik returns to her theme of love, this time exploring how it can be intertwined with insecurity, fear and violence. How do you recognise love, if fear is the feeling you know?
Read an Excerpt
More Info
- In April 2024 Hanne Ørstavik was awarded the Gyldendal Prize 2024 for the body of her work, with a particular focus on her latest novel Stay with Me. You can read the jury statement, a wonderful exploration of the body of her work, on our Ampersand blog post here.
- You can see Hanne Ørstavik talking to Rachel Genn (author of What You Could Have Won) about her novel Love, on our YouTube channel.
- Hanne Ørstavik and translator Martin Aitken discuss writing, reading and translation on Literary Hub, here.
Reviews
Sarah Resnick
London Review of Books
‘The novel is concerned with the ways we see people and are seen by them, and with how consequential it is to feel that some hidden part of us has been recognised by another.’
Gyldendal Prize judges
‘The book reached us all. We were all seized by the acute questions the text posed. The existential questions, which no one living here and now can evade.’
Dagbladet
‘Soul-searching on speed. Ørstavik writes with such distressing courage that as a reader, you become sweaty-palmed. Stay with Me is Hanne Ørstavik at her very best; so intense and profound that the unease becomes contagious . . . Above all, she conveys a spiritual openness that feels naked and vibrantly intense.’
Aftenposten
‘Ørstavik demonstrates how a complicated relationship to a father can create patterns that are difficult to break free from or navigate later in life. The story of the relationship with M, which she enters into after her husband’s death, is among the best she has written.’
Vinduet
‘After finishing her novel Stay with Me, I think that she is the love theorist we need right now. The book makes me think, it disturbs me, stimulates me, affirms me.’
Dag og Tid
‘Ørstavik continues her honest and heartfelt explorations of the innermost chambers . . In Ørstavik’s delicate, almost luminous prose, it becomes relevant and alive. Ørstavik shows us how long the journey to the innermost chamber can be; it can take a lifetime to get there. She handles the difficult subject matter with great care, and with this completely open attitude that makes you almost dizzy while reading.’
Bjørn Ivar Fyksen
Klassekampen, The 3 best books of 2023
‘Ørstavik’s body of work is among the most distinctive and literarily rewarding we have in Norwegian, something Stay with Me fully underscores.’
Vårt Land
‘“What loves are we meant to live?” Ørstavik asks in her thoughtful novel about unsafe relationships. Ørstavik’s descriptions of what fear does to a person are subtle but powerful.’
VG
‘Ørstavik has always been an author with a finely tuned interest in the complex emotional lives of people. So it is this time as well. Ørstavik writes, as usual, with high internal pressure, what is often referred to as “necessity”.’
NRK
‘A furious love story. Ørstavik has a unique ability to shift perspectives, so that we see the vulnerability in the father and in the young lover. Constantly articulated through precise metaphors, Ørstavik turns us all into sensitivity readers – both in the literal sense and in the best sense of the word.’
Dagens Næringsliv
‘A powerful portrayal of male rage. Hanne Ørstavik reports from the borderland between fear and love, life and fiction. The fragmentary, disjointed form embodies an author-narrator trying to figure something out, while the extreme proximity to the material breathes life into the descriptions of difficult love.’
Dagsavisen
‘Ørstavik is clearer and bolder than ever. She is daring in her choice of artistic devices and also demonstrates in Stay with Me that she can effortlessly expand the literary space by incorporating other art forms.’
Morgenbladet
‘Ørstavik’s willingness to engage with what the outside world considers distant, illegal, or ridiculous is indomitable and invaluable.’
Praise for Ti Amo
‘From the very first page, the first sentence, there’s this honesty of voice. A voice weighted with dread and waiting but also shaky with love and wonder. The novel is described on the back as “very hard and very beautiful.” It is very hard. But, somehow, without this being in any way tritely or easily achieved, it is also very beautiful. A magnificent translation of a life-companion of a book.’ Kate Briggs
‘This novella, sometimes hard to read for its bleakness but impossible to look away from, shows that even when we know the destination, the journey is still worthwhile.’ The Guardian
‘Tender, anguished and truthful, Ti Amo recalls a line from a novel by Duras I read years ago: “There are no holidays from love” – as most of us discover, sooner or later.’ The Spectator
‘What is so impressive is her ability to capture – with precision, candour and, indeed, tenacity – her shifting sense of self, as the foundations on which it rests crumble with every passing moment.’ Wall Street Journal
‘The most skilful of writers…you need this Norwegian writer on your bookshelf.’ The I
‘Ti Amo is a complex look at grief, love and loneliness, longing, not veiled within a wider narrative or hidden under layers.’ The Skinny
‘The novel shares a compassionate vision, bridging the gulf between the one who will go on and the one who will not ... A remarkably frank and finely sieved account of two people approaching the ultimate parting of the ways.’ Kirkus Reviews, starred review
‘What do we really talk about when we talk about “truth” in literature? Ørstavik’s painful book on grief provides rich answers. Thoughtful and – even for her – enormously raw, Ørstavik accomplishes an astonishing amount in very few pages.’ Morgenbladet
‘An exceptionally good novel about grieving and waiting . . . Ørstavik writes so well that the book feels essential, timeless and universal.’ Aftenposten
‘Ørstavik writes mercilessly and beautifully about losing her husband. This little novel is a heart-breaking gem. Ti Amo is an endlessly sorrowful novel, but it's written with such forceful presence, a kind of wonder and tenderness towards life and a celebration of love, that you can’t help but feel enriched by reading it. It’s very hard and very beautiful.’ Information
‘One of the most powerful things about the book is its description of the process of losing someone to illness. The time it takes. That it’s possible to feel bereaved even before death arrives . . . It’s exhausting reading, breathless in its resignation . . . And then, midway through the book, there is a turning point. This is where the book really grabbed me, catching me off guard, brilliantly. Without revealing too much, I will say that it’s one of life’s ambushes deep down in the valley of death, equal parts dream and taboo, possible and impossible, an incident that gives grief a nuance it can probably only have for those who have stared into its eyes long enough.’ Klassekampen
‘This little novel from Ørstavik opens up spaces full of emotion and wise thoughts about life, love and death. All we can do is say thank you, and enter.’ Klassekampen, Best of 2020
‘Hanne Ørstavik has written perhaps her finest novel about her life’s greatest loss.’ Adresseavisen, #1 on the Best of 2020 list
‘With Ti Amo, Hanne Ørstavik rediscovers the intensity and presence of Love. Ti Amo explores the liminal experiences that a novel can contain. At the same time we see her oeuvre from a new perspective. It’s a powerful novel about loving, and her best in a long time.’ Astrid Fosvold, Vårt Land, Best of 2020
‘A tender novel about losing your closest one to cancer . . . perceptive, thoughtful and brilliantly written . . . [Ørstavik’s] novels are characterised by her use of language and words to create identity. She has never done it as successfully and satisfyingly as now . . . above all it’s a beautiful novel. About love in a real sense.’ Adresseavisen, 6/6 stars
‘What is true? What is real? How do you get inside another human being? These questions have been central throughout Hanne Ørstavik’s work. In her latest novel, Ti Amo, in a story which is her own, she takes these questions to another level . . . Ørstavik has an impressive ability to expose a person’s inner world, to find a way in to where it hurts the most and explore complex experiences in simple prose, without everything falling apart.’ Vårt Land
Praise for Love
‘Perfectly poised . . . Ørstavik builds a cinematic sense of dread out of the plainest prose, phrase layered on phrase with the hushed implacability of falling snow.’ Justine Jordan, The Guardian
‘Ørstavik's mastery of perspective and clean, crackling sentences prevent sentimentality or sensationalism from trailing this story of a woman and her accidentally untended child. Both of them long for love, but the desire lines of the book are beautifully crooked. Jon wants his mother, and to be let in out of the cold . . . the cold that seems a character throughout this excellent novel of near misses.’ Claire Vaye Watkins, New York Times
‘Hanne Ørstavik’s utterly memorable, devastating little book was first published in Norway in 1997. Available in English for the first time, in Martin Aitken’s admirably clear translation, it might as well have been written yesterday: it has been preserved in fabular ice. The writing is beautifully precise and packed with meaning.’ Toby Lichtig, Times Literary Supplement
'An achingly sad, unsentimental story . . . For a short novel that spans only a few hours in time . . . Ørstavik brings us remarkably close to both her characters, shifting effortlessly between them in stark, lucid prose.' Sarah Gilmartin, Irish Times
‘[A] haunting masterpiece . . . The deceptively simple novel is slow-burning, placing each character into situations associated with horror – entering an unfamiliar house, accepting a ride from a stranger—and the result is a magnificent tale.’ Publishers Weekly, starred review
‘Love can change everything. And it does in this edgy, elegiac and beautifully written novel . . . What you think will happen doesn't – and what does breaks your heart.’ Kerri Arsenault, Oprah.com
‘Love does not disappoint. I was immediately lost to it, hooked within two pages, and already anxious about what was in store for the two convincingly drawn leads . . . If you can pull yourself away from this evocative, affecting and expertly woven tale before you find out what happens, you’re made of tougher stuff than me.’ Jane Graham, Big Issue
‘I was transported . . . the interior lives of both characters are so delicately expressed, with such a light hand, and this huge, powerful emotional impact.’ Ellah Watakama Allfrey
‘I thought [the characters] were drawn absolutely beautifully.’ Christopher Frayling
‘An extraordinary novel.' Kathryn Hughes
‘Ørstavik’s writing is shrapnel sharp as she carves out a nuanced portrait of queasy love told through slithers that is eerie in its estrangement and quietly devastating in its loneliness.’ Katie Goh, The Skinny

